WIFE SWAP: Cullens vs Weasleys
by ThePerksOfBeingMegan
Summary: When the Cullen family and the Weasley family both sign up for Wife Swap what happens?
1. Chapter 1

**Esme Cullen's POV**

Bill, bill, fashion magazine for Alice, bill, another fashion magazine for Alice, car magazine for Rosalie, a book for Bella, letter from _Wife Swap_, new video game for Emmett and Jasper. Wait! A letter from _Wife Swap_? What have they done now?

"Good afternoon, beautiful," my husband Carlisle said, kissing me gently on the cheek.

"Look what the kids have done," I said to him, handing him the letter from _Wife Swap_.

"Family meeting, now," Carlisle said calmly.

Seconds later the family was in our dining/meeting room. I scanned the faces of my family. Who could have done this?

"Does anybody know what this is?" Carlisle asked, holding up the letter.

"No," my family chorused.

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

I scanned the faces of my children. I knew at least one of them was lying.

Emmett raised his hand.

Of course it would be him. I bet more than anything it was him and Jasper. Or maybe him and Jacob.

"Did anybody else help you?" Carlisle asked Emmett.

Jacob slowly raised his hand. And then Alice did.

"How could you do this?" Carlisle asked them. "You do realize that you could expose our family because of this. On international television."

"I didn't see anything bad happening," Alice said to him.

"Carlisle, can you please read the letter?" I asked.

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cullen,_

_Congratulations! Due to your entertaining video you sent in, we have accepted you for an episode of Wife Swap. A camera crew will be arriving August 1 at 12:00 p.m. Mrs. Cullen will be leaving August 2 at 8:00 a.m. and the new mom who will be taking her place will arrive at 12:00 p.m. Mrs. Cullen will be staying with the Weasley family in Ottery, St. Catchpole, England. Thank you for your submission and we hope you have a good time on our show._

_Sincerely,_

_Wife Swap_

"Please go on the show for us, Mommy," Emmett said to me.

I rolled my eyes when he called me mommy.

"It would be a good experience," I sighed. "I guess I'll go."

"Thank you Mommy!" Alice exclaimed, engulfing me with a hug.

"But I have to see the video you sent in," I laughed. "I want to see how ridiculous you made the family look."

"Okay, okay," Emmett said.

He grabbed his laptop from upstairs and ran back downstairs. He quickly connected the laptop to the TV in the room and pressed play on the video.

_A banner reading 'The Cullen Family' popped up on the screen._

_A video clip of Carlisle and I showed up on the screen._

_"That's me, Carlisle," Emmett said in a pretty good interpretation of my husband. "And that is my beautiful wife, Esme. I am a doctor at the local hospital and Esme is a stay-at-home mom. We are the proud parents of eight adopted kids."_

_A clip of Emmett and Jasper playing video games showed up next._

_"Those are my two oldest sons Emmett and Jasper," 'Carlisle' said. "They are always playing video games together or wrestling."_

_Next a clip of Alice and Rosalie having one of their fashion shows started playing._

_"That little pixie is Alice, and the blonde barbie is Rosalie," 'Carlisle' said. "They are inseparable. Always shopping, shopping, shopping."_

_Next a clip of Edward and Nessie started playing. Edward was teaching Nessie how to play piano._

_"That's my son Edward and my daughter Nessie," 'Carlisle' said. "They are really brother and sister and are always together. Edward loves music and Nessie loves painting."_

_Next a clip of Bella and Jacob came up. They were laughing at something._

"I suppose you didn't make us look too bad," I sighed. "I guess I should go pack my bags."

_"That is Bella and Jacob," 'Carlisle' said to the camera. "They are best friends."_

_Jacob and Bella waved at the camera._

_"And now you know my family," 'Carlisle' said. "I hope you pick us for Wife Swap."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Molly Weasley's POV**

"Mum, there's an owl for you," Ginny said to me, handing me a letter.

I looked at the letter. It was from Wife Swap, that Muggle television show that Arthur signed us up for.

"Ginny, go tell your brothers and Harry and Hermione to come downstairs," I instructed my daughter.

"Okay, Mum," Ginny said, before running up the stairs screaming for her brothers.

About ten minutes later, the whole family was sitting in the kitchen.

"What do you want, Mum?" Ron asked me. "Me and Harry were about to go play Quidditch."

"It's 'Harry and I', Ronald," Hermione corrected Ron. "Not 'me and Harry'."

"Whatever, Mione," Ron said.

"But what is it, Mum?" Percy asked.

"I'll tell you when Arthur gets here," I said to the kids.

About ten minutes later, Arthur arrived and sat down at the table with me.

"It came," I said to him.

"It did?" Arthur asked excitedly.

"What came?" Ron asked.

"We are going to be on a Muggle tevelision show!" Arthur exclaimed.

"It's television, Mr. Weasley," Hermione corrected him.

"We're gonna be on television?" Ginny asked excitedly. "I've always wanted to see a television!"

"What show is it?" Fred and George asked.

"Wife Swap," Harry said.

"You knew about this, mate?" Ron asked Harry. "And you didn't tell me?"

"Sorry, but we weren't aloud to, Ron," Hermione said to Ron.

"You too?" Ron asked. "I've been betrayed by my two best friends."

"Your parents needed us to help them with it," Hermione explained. "They didn't know how to work a camera."

"Anyway, what was the show called?" Ginny asked.

"Wife Swap," I said to her.

"Huh?" she asked. "Wife Swap?"

"It means that I go away for two weeks and another woman comes to take my place as your mum," I explained to them. "The Ministry thought it would be a good idea."

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,_

_Congratulations! Due to your entertaining video you sent in, we have accepted you for an episode of Wife Swap. A camera crew will be arriving August 1 at 12:00 p.m. Mrs. Weasley will be leaving August 2 at 8:00 a.m. and the new mom who will be taking her place will arrive at 12:00 p.m. Mrs. Weasley will be staying with the Cullen family of Forks, Washington, United States of America. Thank you for your submission and we hope you have a good time on our show._

_Sincerely,_

_Wife Swap_

"You made a video of us?" Fred asked.

"How do I look?" George asked.

"I look better, I bet," Fred said.

"You wish," George laughed. "We all know that I'm the hottest Weasley."

"Hermione, dear, could you show everyone the video?" I asked.

"Of course, Mrs. Weasley," Hermione said.

She ran upstairs and brought her portable computer (I believe it's called a laptop by Muggles) down and sat it on the table. She put a disc in and started playing a video.

_A video clip of Arthur and I showed up on the screen._

_"That's me, Molly," I said to the camera. "And that is my Arthur. Arthur works for the ministry, and I am a stay-at-home mom. We are the proud parents of seven kids. Our two eldest sons Bill and Charlie have already moved out of the house."_

_A clip of Percy showed up next. He was reading a book._

_"This is my son Percy," I said. "He is always reading a book or writing."_

_Next a clip of Fred and George planning a prank showed up._

_"These are my twin sons Fred and George," I said. "They are inseparable and nearly impossible to tell apart. They are always pranking anyone and everyone."_

_Then a clip of Ron, Harry, and Hermione started playing. They were sitting outside laughing about who-knows-what._

_"That boy with the red hair is my son Ron, and the two other people are Ron's best friends Harry and Hermione." I said. "They are best friends. Harry and Hermione basically live with us during the summer and they are considered family."_

_Lastly a clip of Ginny came up. She was listening to Hermione's iPod._

_"And this is my little girl Ginny," I said to the camera._

_Ginny waved at the camera with a confused look on her face._

_"And now you know my family," I said. "I hope you pick us for Wife Swap."_

"Now we have some rules," I said to the family. "Rule number one, no magic. That means no talking about magic, no Quidditch, no mentioning Hogwarts, no using the word Muggle, no magic."

"No Quidditch!" Ron exclaimed. "Seriously, Mum? That's crazy!"

"I also expect the garden to be completely degnomed," I said. "That will be your job, Fred and George."

"Got it," they said.

"Harry, Hermione, you are to teach everyone basic Muggle things," I said.

"Easy," they said.

"Arthur, no apparating straight into the house," I said. "Ginny, you can visit Luna if you wish, but make sure you don't tell the new mum how... unigue the Lovegoods are."

"Okay, Mum," Ginny smiled.

"And Ron," I said. "Try not to be too difficult."

"Fine."

"Does everybody understand?" I asked them. "We are Muggles for the next two weeks."


End file.
